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While Anthony Watts runs around trying to convince Americans that the temperature record is flawed and global warming is a socialist commie plot, the Urban Heat Island Effect is melting the magical place that is Canada’s High Arctic.

I mean, if you’re a denier, that has to be how you rationalize it, right? It can’t be global warming because Anthony Watts says that climate change is nothing more than a scary fairy tale.

It follows then that all Inuit are alarmists, and that the same heat island effect that invalidates the temperature readings throughout ALL of the good ole US of A is causing temperatures to soar in Northern Canada. Obviously, Resolute — the city town village hamlet settlement community whistle stop lonely outpost on Cornwallis Island, population 229, is so bustling with activity during the summer that’s it’s melting the ice throughout The Land of the Midnight Sun, and causing temperatures to soar in Canada, Siberia, and Greenland.

What else could it be? The fact that Arctic Amplification was predicted by climate models is further proof that it CAN’T possibly be happening.

But surely… even a denier wouldn’t believe that tiny Resolute could be melting Northern Canada and Siberia.

We need to look elsewhere. Maybe the big cities. Yeah, that’s it. Big cities like Toronto, Montreal, and New York — 4,000 kilometres to the south — are somehow sending their incredble urban island warmth northward, and mimicking arctic amplification, fooling all those naive scientists.

Man… the mental gymnastics that deniers have to go through must hurt their brains.

I think it’s far easier to blame the whole problem on the socialists in our midst. Like this one comrade scientist and arctic researcher from Lotus Land who is just spreading panic and alarmism in order to secure funding for his trips to Resolute and beyond.

Here’s a brief story on Arctic Amplification from Reuters.

The Arctic region is warming by about 1°C per decade — far greater than most other regions — and releasing greenhouse gases on a scale that will likely accelerate global warming. But that’s the not the only change that University of British Columbia researcher Greg Henry has seen during his career, for the higher temperatures are causing the tree line to extend northward, bringing larger plants to areas that once only held shrubs, lichen and ice, so the Arctic region is darkening and absorbing more heat. In fact, virtually every summer since 1990 has set a new record temperature.

“We’re finding that the tundra is actually giving off a lot more nitrous oxide and methane than anyone had thought before,” said Henry told reporters from Resolute, in the northern Canadian territory of Nunavut. “We’re really trying to get a handle on this because if (further tests show) that’s true, this actually changes the entire greenhouse gas budget for the North, and that has global implications.”


*I’m just trying to be funny. Let me know if you think I’ve succeeded.

5 Responses to “Urban Heat Island Effect is Ruining the Arctic*”

  1. crf says:

    Not funny. But not from a lack of effort on your part.

    Watts and ilk are too pathetic to be mocked. Mocking just doesn’t come off right.

  2. Gail Zawacki says:

    Hey, made me laugh! Maybe not as funny as Sarah Palin, but I take my humor where I can find it these days…thanks!

  3. Patrick Roche says:

    Milk came out of my nose. Metaphorically.

  4. Paul Kelly says:

    There doesn’t seem to be any wattsians to talk at, but at least you got one new reader. Arctic and global ice is fascinating to many and a point of contention for some. Both WUWT and climateaudit monitor sea ice extent. Among climatologist, I think William Connolly is clearest about the ice.

    Activism is named in your blog’s title. Much to my surprise, an activist is what I’ve become. Here’s how. I put up a website replacefossil.com, obtained a federal tax number for Replacing Fossil Fuel, talked to a lawyer and a business adviser and started a constant contact acct.

    Next came organizing Energy Events in my community. Starting early this year, forums included expert presentations by leaders in alternatives and efficiencies as well as laying the groundwork for a watt – a – month club. The club is dedicated to providing The Beverly Arts Center of Chicago 21st Century Energy solutions.

  5. Mossy says:

    Ditto Gail. I laughed. And, ditto Gail, too that sometimes it’s hard to find a laugh these days!